DAMNABLE GRACE
(Hades Hangmen, #5)

by Tillie Cole

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Synopsis

EVEN THE BROKEN, THROUGH LOVE, CAN FIND GRACE…
Secrets never stay hidden.
The burden of guilt never lifts from the heart.

Born and raised in The Order of David, Sister Phebe knows nothing but cult life. Head of the Sacred Sisters of New Zion, Phebe was groomed from childhood for one purpose: to seduce. Prized as a harlot, as a New Zion whore, Phebe is taken from the doomed cult by Meister, the notorious leader of the Aryan Brotherhood. Taken as his possession. Taken to be the woman who will obey his every sexual demand. Under his heavy hand, Phebe finds herself in a place much worse than she could ever have imagined… with absolutely no one to help. And no glimpse of hope.

Xavier ‘AK’ Deyes is content with his life as Sergeant-At-Arms of the Hades Hangmen. Leader of the infamous ‘Psycho Trio’ and ex-special ops sniper, AK knows how to fight. Experienced in warfare and schooled in military operations, AK is vital to the Hangmen. When his Vice President needs help retrieving his missing sister-in-law, Phebe, from a Klan-funded trafficking ring, AK volunteers to go in. AK remembers the red-head from New Zion. Remembers everything about her from the single time they met—her red hair, blue eyes and freckled face. But when he finds her, heavily drugged and under Meister’s control, her sorry condition causes him to remember more than the beautiful woman he once tied to a tree. Saving Phebe forces hidden demons from his past to return. A past he can never move on from, no matter how hard he tries.

As AK fights to help Phebe, and in turn she strives to help him, they realize their secret sins will never leave them alone. Kindred broken souls, they realize the only way they can be rid of their ghosts is to face them together and try to find peace.

Despair soon turns to hope, and damaged hearts soon start to heal. But when their deep, painful scars resurface, becoming too much to bear, the time comes when they must make a heavy choice: stay forever damned; or together, find grace.

Dark Contemporary Romance. Contains explicit sexual situations, violence, disturbingly sensitive and taboo subjects, offensive language and very mature topics. Recommended for age 18 and over.
***NOT a standalone. MUST be read as part of The Hades Hangmen Series***

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Review

“You are my grace. You are my redemption.”

4.5 stars and ALL THE FEELS!

Whoa, that was one hell of a ride! Once again Tillie Cole has taken us into the dark, gritty and violent world of the Hades Hangmen and she has given us a heartachingly emotional story of two broken souls finding redemption and peace together in a stunningly beautiful romance. But OMG, the journey to get there is a heart-pounding, eye-opening, horrifying ride. And I freaking loved it!

AK is Sargent-at-Arms for the Hangmen, and a member of the “psycho trio” along with his best friends and ‘brothers’ Flame and Viking. An ex-Marine sniper, he is the best at what he does, and he has found his family in his club. When the Hangmen took on the freakish religious cult, The Order, AK had a moment with a stunning redhead. He doesn’t know what, but they shared something in their brief encounter, and after all hell broke loose with the cult, Phebe was taken. AK has been unable to forget her ever since.

Phebe is the half-sister of Lilah and was raised in The Order. Trained to be a whore, she has known nothing else her whole life, and she now she finds herself at the mercy of a Klan madman who is brutally cruel and determined to have her as his own.

The Hangmen have been searching for Phebe, and when they finally have a lead, it’s AK who leads the crew to go in and get her out.

If you’re a fan of this series then you know exactly what you’re going to get – emotion, intensity, and the raw and unfiltered horrors of the depths of depravity that the human race is capable of. This book is dark! It’s disturbing, graphic and horrifying in parts, but it gets you right into the world of these characters, and you feel every moment of their torment right alongside them.

When AK rescues Phebe, he needs to be the one to help her recover. Slowly, painfully, and oh-so-patiently, he cares for her and is there for her during the ups and downs of her recovery. And wow. Seriously. His gentleness is a wonderful contrast to what we know of the vicious, slutty, deadly biker, and I loved seeing the softer side of him as he is there for Phebe.

I shook my head. “Real life is too hard. And I do not know how to cope with it. Not at all.”
I clung to AK as if he were the only tether keeping me from breaking apart. And I whimpered, losing the final restraint on my sorrow when his large arms came around me and held me as close as possible. He kissed my hair and rocked me back and forth, keeping me safe in his hands.

Oh, I love him! But Phebe’s torture triggers his own personal torment, and he soon finds himself drowning in his own demons from his past.

There is so much more to AK than we knew. He is a man who has been shattered by his past, but he puts on a brave face, trying not to think about his past or let the horrors of it get to him. But as Phebe starts to come back to herself, she recognises something in him – a familiar brokenness that draws her to him. More than being the only man to ever show her kindness, she sees a kind, honorable soul, and just as he saved her, so she sets about saving him.

“I think we were meant to find each other, AK. I think we were meant to find each other, to leave hell together.” I didn’t reply. I had no words. “I think that no solution is quick, and no remedy will magically make our pain drift away. I believe that we must go on through this pain we are feeling in order to move on. And I believe whatever God or greater power exists above us brought us together so we may heal together. Heal the other in a way that no other person could.”

I love Phebe! The girl has been through SO much, but she’s incredibly strong, and you have to admire the way she is able to pick herself up and not only move on, but be there to support AK through his hard time as well! Brave and determined, she has not lost her compassionate heart, or her capacity to love, and I just loved her.

And AK and Phebe’s love story is just beautiful. It’s hard reading at times, and there are ups and downs as they slowly start to open up to each other and reveal their pasts, and my heart ached for them. Their backstories are absolutely tragic, and it begs the question – just how much can people suffer through? But it makes what they find together all the more special as they not only open their hearts to each other, but they start to look forward, and the vulnerability, passion and emotion between them is absolutely beautiful.

“As I stared into your eyes, I saw myself. My reflection looking back at me…my wounded soul.”
“Yeah,” he rasped. I knew he was telling me he has felt it too.
“The devil’s man with the angel’s eyes.”
I breathed. He breathed. We kissed. Broke apart. “The damned souls who together found grace.”

But just as they begin to find peace, how will they cope when the past confronts them once again?

I loved this book. It’s dark and horrible at times, dealing with serious and deeply disturbing issues (with lots of potential triggers – pretty much all of them), but it’s balanced beautifully with the developing romance between AK and Phebe, the sense of family that is so evident within the club, and the hilarious camaraderie between the boys. It stuns me that in the middle of all of the horrors and deeply feeling emotion of this book, there were times that I laughed out loud at their banter and antics, and I loved that this book was capable of making me feel all of that.

I loved that we got to see so much of the Hangmen (particularly the surprising Flame POV chapters that fit in beautifully with the story). The action is intense as the boys rally around to protect their own and there are twists and surprises and some pretty big reveals, as well as hints of stories to come. I loved uncovering it all, and I can’t wait for more of what is to come.

Tillie Cole, you never disappoint. This was an amazing read.

4.5 stars.

An Advanced Review Copy was generously provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

 

The Hades Hangmen series

 

For similar reads, check out our Dark & Edgy Recommendations

 

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About the Author

 Tillie Cole hails from a small town in the North-East of England. She grew up on a farm with her English mother, Scottish father and older sister and a multitude of rescue animals. As soon as she could, Tillie left her rural roots for the bright lights of the big city.

After graduating from Newcastle University with a BA Hons in Religious Studies, Tillie followed her Professional Rugby player husband around the world for a decade, becoming a teacher in between and thoroughly enjoyed teaching High School students Social Studies before putting pen to paper, and finishing her first novel.

Tillie has now settled in Austin, Texas, where she is finally able to sit down and write, throwing herself into fantasy worlds and the fabulous minds of her characters.

Tillie is both an independent and traditionally published author, and writes many genres including: Contemporary Romance, Dark Romance, Young Adult and New Adult novels.

When she is not writing, Tillie enjoys nothing more than curling up on her couch watching movies, drinking far too much coffee, while convincing herself that she really doesn’t need that extra square of chocolate.

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