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Review
“You’re all I see. Nothing holds more beauty in my eyes than you do. No one will ever love you the way I do.”
Oh. My. God. What an incredible, intensely emotional story! Not only is it a beautiful, heart-wrenching romance, but it’s also a story about the love of family – both made and chosen, the bonds between brothers, and the sacrifices made by those who choose to fight for others.
Fin and Ryan have loved each other since their childhood. The best friend of Fin’s older brother, Jake, Ryan practically lived in their house, trying desperately to escape his own family. Through the years they were close and were always there for each other, but Ryan never felt worthy of Fin, so even though they both knew there was something special between them, neither of them ever acted on it.
Having dreamed of being a soldier for as long as he can remember, Ryan and Jake enlist with the Australian Army, and the two of them become members of the SAS (special forces) and are sent to fight in Afghanistan. Six years later, they have returned home after their fourth tour, and upon seeing each other for the first time in six years, the chemistry between Fin and Ryan, which has only increased over the years, explodes.
“I want you, Fin,” he finally admitted. “So damn much I can’t sleep from it. I lie in bed at night and I dream of my lips on yours, my mouth tasting every inch you. I want to fuck you until I go blind from it and even then I don’t think it would ever be enough.”
“For six years I fought every day not to think of you, and I lost, because every day you were all I could see. You were the best thing in my life”
Just… wow. The emotion and the UST between these two is off the freaking charts! You can feel every little moment, and I was bouncing up and down in my chair and squeeing with glee! But there are a lot of things standing in their way. And with their careers, relationships, issues from the past, fear for the future, and the reality of both of their lives to overcome, it’s far from an easy road for either of them
I feel like anything else that I say about the storyline is going to sound cliché, but it’s absolutely not, and there’s no way I can do the story justice. You need to read it and just take it all in as it unfolds, because it’s an amazing story. Both beautifully romantic and horribly devastating, it’s one of those books that you don’t just read, you experience.
The relationship between Fin and Ryan is absolutely incredible. The love that they have for each other is so strong, and I felt every moment along with them. The longing, the heartbreak, the passion, the huge highs and the devastating lows. They go through so much in this story, and at times it’s really hard reading, and yes, I read with tears streaming down my face. But there are also lots of happy (and steamy) times, and I loved seeing them together! And through it all, there is never any doubting their love for each other, and every single moment is beautiful.
“I have a thick skin, baby … but you’re under it. You’re buried in there so deep it’s like I was born with you in my soul … When I’m near you I’m consumed by you — your smile, your eyes, your heart. Even though we’ve never been together, you’ve always been mine, and even if I never get to keep you, you’ll still be mine.”
“Every piece of me is in here.” He placed his palm flat on her chest, feeling her heart beat hard and steady beneath his fingers. He closed his eyes briefly at the beauty of it. “My breath, my heart, my life. I won’t ever leave you if you keep that safe inside of you.”
Of course there was never any doubt that I would fall in love with Ryan. He’s brave, strong, loving and loyal. I loved the way the author explored his commitment to his career, and his heartfelt need to help others, doing it without question and with such devotion. You have to respect him for that. He’s also got a huge heart, and although he is emotionally damaged, he is absolutely crazy about his girl.
“Christ. He didn’t just love her, he fucking adored her. He’d give his life for her if he had to.”
And Fin more than holds her own against him. She’s intelligent, she’s sensible, and she knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to reach out and grab it. She shows amazing strength in all that she goes through, and I love that she’s strong enough to put herself out there for Ryan and be there for him when she knows he needs her.
“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, but someone smart and brave once told me that it’s always the strongest that fall the hardest. You can trust me, Ryan. Let go. I’ll be here to catch you. I’ll always be here.”
Throughout the book there is a very strong focus on relationships, and I loved how the author explored that. Not only between Fin and Ryan, but also their relationships with Jake. Fin has a beautiful relationship with her brother, and Jake and Ryan’s bond is amazing. I loved the scenes with them all together.
The other characters also bring a lot to the story, and I love the relationships and how they all interplay, particularly with Kyle, Rachael, Fin and Jake’s parents, and the boys in Ryan and Jake’s squad (the banter between these guys is sensational!). The bonds are all really strong, and I love the way that they all have each other’s backs, but they’re not afraid to pull out the punches when needed.
Through war and tragedy, love and life, Fin and Ryan’s story unfolds with incredible emotion. It’s one of those books that’s written in a way that you can see it all playing out in front of you like a movie, with the dual POV letting you know exactly what they are both feeling, and it’s so beautifully done. I felt so connected to these characters (possibly helped along by the fact that they are living in my home town, which was a surprising bonus!), and I was mesmerized from start to finish. It broke my heart over and over, only to patch it up and have me swooning soon after. The story is an incredible journey and I absolutely loved it – and yes, there is a HEA.
5 stars.
On a side note – I can’t even begin to imagine what the families of soldiers go through with their loved ones so far from home and facing death every day. They must be so proud, but to live with so much fear has to be truly horrific. I witnessed a small piece of it here, and my heart goes out to all of those who sacrifice so much for the sake of others, and to those who love them.