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Review
6 incredible stars!
ABSOLUTELY FREAKING PHENOMENAL!
Oh my God, this is a powerful, powerful book, and an instant addition to my favourites shelf. The characters are fantastic, the storyline is strong, the emotion is intense, and the writing is brilliant. From the very first page, I could tell I was going to experience something really epic. And I absolutely did. This little book totally blew my mind!
Natalie is a very unique heroine. Broken and drowning in a life that she despises , she is married to a man she no longer loves, with two children that she never planned on having, and a career path left behind to stay at home and be a Mom.
“My twenty-three-year-old graduate student self … just packed right up and vacated the part of my spirit that mattered – that made me … me.”
She is angry, resentful and depressed, and to try and cope with her emotions, she cuts herself. I must confess, when I first saw this in the synopsis of this book I was immediately turned off. I didn’t want to read a dark and depressing book about somebody with self-mutilation issues. But let me tell you that while this is an important part of the story, there is soooooo much more!
The cutting is a coping mechanism she developed back in College when her boyfriend, and the love of her life, Ryker, was sent to Afghanistan to fight in the war. The story of Natalie and Ryker’s past is told through flashback, and is brilliantly woven into the story. You can feel the deep love and connection that these two shared, even while separated.
“God, I miss you.
I love you so much, Natalie, and when I get home I’m going to keep loving you until you tell me to stop. But don’t, please. Don’t tell me to stop.
I love you.
With everything.
– Ry.”
Natalie struggles terribly with their separation, and is desperate to have Ryker back, but when he returns, she finds that he is no longer the same man. Horrifically traumatised by all that he endured, Ryker suffers from PTSD, and the fallout tears them apart.
“They took his soul over there, fuckers, and left me with the breathing carcass.”
“His body came home, but his soul had been devoured in the firefight of a godless desert.”
The main part of the story takes place 10 years later, in the present, and as the full story unfolds we get to see how deeply the events of her past have shaped Natalie’s life. And then, just as she starts to pick herself up and face the problems in her life, the big shift comes for her when she unexpectedly sees Ryker again, and their one meeting unwittingly triggers huge change for them both.
I don’t want to give too much of the story away, but I will say that the journey that Natalie goes through in this book is incredible! I really love her as a character. At first I thought she was a bit whiny and a bit of a doormat for putting up with her life if she was so unhappy about it, but as the story went on, I could totally understand why she was the way she was, and I absolutely respected her strength. Sure, she was messed up and had a dangerous way of coping, but she kept it localised, and did what she had to do to get by, and through it all she loved her boys fiercely. She may not have wanted children, but she was a wonderful mother to them. And I admire her for that. And I love how she takes responsibility for her life. She is incredibly intelligent and has amazing strength, and even though she is messed up, and has moments where she falls into a hole, I felt that her reactions were very real, and I was cheering for her the whole way through as she fought to get her life back.
And then there is Ryker. Just… damn. The man is incredible. He has been through hell, but the way these two come back together to deal with their past issues is just amazing! With all of the history between them, and the hurt that they had endured, they still had a strong connection. Ryker still had his own demons to overcome, and I loved the way that they there for each other and completely honest about everything that had happened between them. And through all of the trauma of reliving the past, and finding a way forward, the feeling between them is still incredibly strong, there is no blame, they don’t push, and they have nothing but respect for one another.
“Heroes don’t always wear capes, badges, or uniforms. Sometimes, they support those who do.”
There is a fantastic group of supporting characters. Natalie’s best friend, Tosha, is perfect – honest, outspoken, and completely supportive, she is the kind of best friend that everybody needs. Ryker’s Dad, Bill, plays a huge part and I love his relationship with both Ryker and Natalie, and even the late introduction of George and Marion to the story has a huge impact.
But even with all of this going on, it’s a very ‘tight’ read. The structure, the pacing, the dialogue, and the writing are all just phenomenal. There’s no fluff, it’s like every single word, every little moment is important to the story, and so many times I would be gutted by just one line. I’d be reading, and although I was running on high emotions, I’d be ok, and then all of a sudden there would be one line, just a matter of words, that would hit me like a punch to the chest and I’d be sobbing (happy tears) – that’s how good it is.
OK, surely that’s enough gushing now. Bravo Andrea Randall! This is an incredible story. I absolutely adored it.
6 incredible stars.