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Review

4.5 “I love you the most” stars

Wow. Wow. Wow! I’m always intrigued by the idea of a taboo romance, and Carian Cole has done an amazing job with this story! A heartfelt, emotional and beautifully romantic love story between an 18-year-old girl and the man who has been there for her for her entire life – her father’s 32-year-old best friend. I loved, I cried, I swooned and I. Could. Not. Put. This. Book. Down. It captivated me, and I felt every moment of this angsty, dramatic and intense love story.

Why is it acceptable to get involved with a total stranger, who could do any number of things to hurt you or betray you, but not get involved with someone who has cared about you since the day you were born?
Is it all a matter of social perspective?

This book is a spin-off from the Ashes & Embers series, and Kensington ‘Kenzi’ Valentine is the daughter of rockstar Asher Valentine. Born when her parents were only 15, Kenzi had an unconventional childhood, with both of her parents making their name in a then-upcoming rock band. Her father’s best friend, Toren, was a huge part of her life, and was always there for her – loving, supporting and caring for her, and now that she is grown, that relationship is pivotal to both of them as it changes from uncle/pseudo-niece to close friends. And then those feelings begin to shift – on both of their sides – setting the stage for the story to come.

This is a long book and very detailed, which I loved, and the pacing is really well done. There’s a fantastic build up and we get a really good picture of the relationship between Tor and Kenzie before anything happens between them – including little glimpses into their past together, which were beautifully sweet and showed us a lot more of their close bond, which I really appreciated. Seeing them in the present, they are extremely close, probably each others’ favourite people in the world. They have a lot in common and their lives are intertwined in so many ways. Kenzi is mature for an 18 year old – she wants to find love and experience all that being in a relationship means; and after years of on/off relationships and meaningless hook-ups, Tor wants somebody to share his life with. They know each other like nobody else does, and when those first flickers of attraction begin, it’s spine-tingly.

He’s my other half; the one who makes my heart beat. The man who makes me feel every feeling that could possibly be felt – and then some. The man who held me and loved me through almost every moment of my life. I have no past without him, and no future without him. Quite simply, he is my world.

The book is written in dual POV, so we get to experience everything along with them, and I loved the way their changing dynamic was explored. We get to see them begin to feel more, react to it, be frightened of it and eventually come to terms with it. And I was feeling everything right along with them as they slowly and convincingly fell for each other.

I ached to make everything better for her. But I couldn’t. That’s what Uncle Tor would do, and unfortunately he went up in flames the moment we touched. That guy is gone, and she can’t ever have him back. Just like I can’t ever have my little blond-haired princess back.
One forbidden touch, one taboo kiss, and we destroyed who we were. I don’t know who either one of us is anymore or how we got all fucking tangled up in this mess of lust and love that should never exist. But it doesn’t exist, and no matter how much I try to deny it, it keeps coming back to get in my face, refusing to be ignored.

My heart was pounding and I was cheering them both on as they battled to figure out their feelings, and though Kenzi was young, I loved that she had the self-awareness to know what she wanted, and then fight for it.

“I want you to be my first. I want you to be my last. I want you to be all the in-betweens. I want you. Just you. Only you.”

And Tor is just gorgeous! He’s sweet, loving and kind, thoughtful and romantic and so freaking sexy! I could empathise with all that he was going through, and his part of the story is particularly emotional and beautifully written as he struggled to accept his feelings, and the heartwrenching reality of what it all meant for them.

“I’ve been racking my brain, trying to figure out what’s the best thing for us to do. What’s the right thing for us to do. And I can’t come up with a fuckin’ clue. All I know is I want to be with you.” He links his fingers with mine. “I can’t fight the rights or the wrongs anymore. I don’t care how old I am or how young you are or anything in between. All that matters is you are my forever. You always have been. You always will be.”

*swoooooooooooooon!*

Their romance felt right. It felt natural. And though it was far from easy, it felt like it was meant to be. I was mesmerised as it all played out for them, and my heart pounded with anticipation in the build up to each milestone… which then led to another… and another… and another as they figured it all out. And though they overcome personal hurdles to find their way to each other, they know that accepting their feelings is only part of the battle. It’s a significant one, yes, but their biggest fight is yet to come as the truth of their relationship is revealed – especially to Kenzie’s father – and Kenzie finds herself stuck in between the two men she loves more than anything in the world.

It’s angsty and dramatic, and it’s SO freaking good!

The Ashes & Embers crew are in the background of the story, with the events of those books happening in the same timeline as this one. Though this book is technically the start of a new series, I think you’ll definitely appreciate it more if you have that background info – especially as we learn more about the mysteries of Asher’s past and Kenzie’s mother, and it plays importantly into this story.

To address the MC thing – it’s kinda brushed over. At one point I think there was mention of Tor being president of a club, but then it’s forgotten about. There’s no club stuff, no ‘brotherhood’ and apart from him working on motorcycles and, of course, riding one, it’s not mentioned again. Which was kinda weird. And Devil’s Wolves seems to relate more to a garage and pet rescue than anything else? But whatever, not important, moving on.

So why not 5 stars? Well, the ending wasn’t exactly what I wanted. I wanted something epic rather than what seemed like an anticlimactic ‘whatever’ moment…

This is a really special story, and one that will stay with me for a long time to come. And I am very curious for the story of Tor’s mysterious brother in the next book of the series.

4.5 stars.

All Torn Up

Ashes & Embers