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Review

So. Much. Draaaamaaaaaaaaa!

We all know that Coho knows how to bring the feels, and she has certainly done that in this dramatic, unique, and heartwrenching story of a married couple who are deeply in love but who, due to circumstances beyond their control, aren’t happy and have completely lost who they used to be. Graham and Quinn are trapped in a marriage that is crumbling beneath them, neither of them know what to do or how to handle it, and we are taken on an emotional rollercoaster with them as they deal with the fallout of long-standing infertility issues on them individually, and as a couple.

“The problem is, love and happiness are not concordant. One can exist without the other.”

As always with Coho’s writing, the characters are well developed, the story is intense and the writing is stunning, but OMG, it’s dramatic! Graham and Quinn’s journey is a heartbreaking one, and there’s no downplaying that, but they go through so much, and this book is not only heavy, but it actually felt overwhelmingly depressing at times as they got hit over and over again with heartbreak.

“Here he is, holding me as I cry, simply because it hurts him to see me cry.”

The subject matter of this story is dramatic and emotional. Infertility is an issue that isn’t often spoken about openly. Each person who experiences it does so differently, usually privately, in a way that is unique to them, and nobody can judge the impact that infertility can have on a person, and a relationship.

“Sometimes when people change, it’s not always noticeable in a marriage, because the couple changes together, in the same direction. But sometimes people change in opposite directions.”

Quinn and Graham are both suffering from their inability to have children, but they do so in very different ways. The book is written entirely from Quinn’s POV so we get up close and personal with her anguish, and it’s heavy reading. Her grief, guilt, anger, frustration and hopelessness – in addition to her untreated and undiagnosed depression – has overwhelmed everything and she is completely lost.

“I miss you, Quinn. So much. You’re right here, but you aren’t. I don’t know where you went or when you left, but I have no idea how to bring you back. I am so alone. We live together. We eat together. We sleep together. But I have never felt more alone in my entire life.”

Firstly… I applaud Hoover for addressing this subject head-on the way she did. I’ve seen it appear in books here and there, but I haven’t seen it addressed in such depth where I have felt the soul-crushing defeat so strongly. She really gets you in there with Quinn and Graham, and it’s raw and intention emotion. But I have to admit, I found it bit too heavy on the depressing emotion.

How did nobody notice that Quinn was depressed? She balks at the idea of therapy, but she clearly needs help, and even though I could empathise with what she’s going through, there were times when I wanted to give her a shake.

And as supportive and loving and wonderful as Graham is, he struggles too, and he makes mistakes.

I’m not condoning his actions in any way, but in this situation I could see how it could happen, and I thought it was realistically written.

The chapters alternate between the past and the present, and thank God that they did, because just as I was feeling depressed and overwhelmed with all of the drama in the present, we’d flick back to see Graham and Quinn’s beginning – from their uniquely hilarious and chemistry-filled meeting to their fun, flirtatious fall into love, and the absolute ‘rightness’ that is them together. I loved this dual perspective, and thought it was really cleverly done.

It’s an intense read, and oh how my heart ached for them with all that they go through. And though I did find it a bit much with all of the drama, for me, the main issue I had with this story was the speed and suddenness of the resolution. After ALL that they had been through and the intensity of it all, it’s all wrapped up quickly and happily, and suddenly all is right in their world. While I was happy that they got a happy ending, for me it just didn’t gel with the rest of the story and I felt a bit bewildered by the whole thing. I certainly didn’t love all of that swoon as much as I should have, though I certainly appreciated it.

“I will continue to love you more and more with every struggle we face than I loved you when all was perfect.”

There’s no denying that this is a beautifully written book. It probably won’t be for everybody, and it was honestly a bit much for me, but it’s a stunningly emotional love story, and I’m really glad I read it.

3.5 stars.

 

 

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