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Review

4.5 stars!

Oh, I loved this book! An emotional and heartfelt m/m NA romance with a deep underlying message, and all the feels.

This is the third book in the Ivy Years series, but it can be read as a complete standalone with only very minimal character crossover.

John Rikker is new to Harkness College and its hockey team. He has moved mid-year after being booted off his old team due to his sexual preference. Now he’s starting all over again, not hiding the fact that he is gay, and hoping to settle in quietly to his new team. But that turns out to be harder than expected when he finds somebody from his past in the locker room.

Michael Graham is gobsmacked when Rikker walks onto his hockey team. Back in high school the two boys were the best of friends, and their friendship turned into attraction and a sort-of relationship. But it ended in tragedy and Graham ran, and has been hiding his sexuality ever since, sleeping with women and refusing to think about the ‘other’ side of himself. He’s terrified by Rikker’s arrival – firstly because he’s scared that one word from him will out Graham to the team, and secondly because it has him questioning everything all over again.

“It turns out that trying to ignore somebody is about the most, exhausting thing in the world.”

It’s not an easy reunion for Rikker and Graham. There is so much anger, hurt and guilt between them, and they don’t deal with it because Graham wants nothing to do with his old friend, pretending like they don’t even know each other. It’s heartbreaking, and I ached for poor Rikker who just took it all in stride.

“We’d been so close all those years ago. My subconscious just couldn’t get over the idea that we weren’t anymore.”

But the close contact required by being on the team together forces the confrontation that has been a long time coming, and it’s not too long before everything changes. Their past is dealt with, their friendship is rebuilt, and all that they feel for each other comes rushing back. But can they find their way forward in their new reality? And how much will it cost them?

“Getting along together was never the problem with you and me,” he said. “We’re both easy. It’s just the rest of the world that’s hard.”

I won’t say anything more, because you just need to read it. It’s a rollercoaster ride for Graham and Rikker, and I was right there with them for all of it. I hurt and I raged, and I loved right along with them, and I thought it was so beautifully written.

Rikker absolutely stole my heart. He’s such a sweetheart – a ‘normal’ guy just wanting to live his life, and I so admired him for the way he handled himself. By contrast, I was so pissed with Graham and the way he treated Rikker, who deserved way better. But so much of this book is about his journey to figure out who he is and what he wants, so he needed to be an asshole so that he had somewhere to move on from, and it was beautiful to watch his character development as he fought hard to work it all out.

There are brief cameos from previous characters in the series, and we also get introduced to a young Leo Trevi (from the Brooklyn Bruisers series), which was a real treat! And there are new characters introduced who bring so much entertainment – God, I love Rikker’s grandma! What a hoot!

The book ends in a great place, and I finished it with a big smile on my face. I would have loved just a bit more with these two, but hopefully we’ll get to check in on them in future books of the series.

I absolutely loved it.

4.5 stars!

I listened to this as an audiobook, narrated by Christian Fox and Teddy Hamilton, and they do a wonderful job bringing these characters, and their story, to life. I highly recommend listening to this one!