Sparrow & Hawke, the first book in The Birdsong Trilogy by Nina Lane, is now live!
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Blurb
Darius
My attraction to her is wrong. I’m like the serpent in the Garden of Eden targeting Eve. Corrupting her.
I understand the serpent, though. When you’ve seen the worst of humanity, taken the brunt of evil, you crave purity and goodness. You want compassion and courage, even when it comes in a girl far too young and innocent for the likes of you.
Nell
He says I’m too young and he’s too experienced.
He thinks I’m pure and he’s ruined.
He swears I don’t know enough and he knows too much.
He walks away because I’m fragile and he’s broken.
I want him, even though he can’t want me…
But he does.
Review
4.5 stars
Wow. This first book in the Birdsong trilogy is an intense and heartwrenching read, introducing us to two damaged yet wonderfully developed characters, and setting up what is sure to be an epic story of forbidden love. It’s beautifully written and gorgeously emotive, and I loved it.
This is the story of Darius and Nell, and their romance is forbidden in so many ways:
He’s 40, she’s 18
He’s her father’s best friend
He’s her deceased mother’s step-brother
He’s her teacher
Darius is an acclaimed war photographer who is still recovering from a horrifying ordeal where he was held hostage in Afghanistan before making a daring escape. He’s back home on US soil, and while he has physically recovered, he still carries the mental and emotional scars of his captivity. In an attempt at healing, he temporarily moves in with his childhood best friend and his daughter, and takes on a job teaching photography at the local high school to try and find his way forward in the world again.
Nell has been through her own traumas that have left her withdrawn and lost, and she’s just going with the flow, about to graduate high school and follow the plan that her mostly inattentive father has laid out for her, even though it’s not what she wants. But she doesn’t know what she wants, and she just seems to be existing without purpose.
Darius and Nell have always had a close relationship. They haven’t seen each other for a few years though – mostly because of Darius’ captivity and its aftermath – so when they see each other again, it’s with surprise at the differences they see in each other. It’s awkward at first, but when they start to talk about what they’ve been through, they open up to each other like they haven’t been able to with anybody else. They talk about their experiences and the pain and grief that they live with, and the bond that was always between them begins to deepen.
“When I first came here, I thought you were a stranger.” Nell folds her arms around her chest, like she’s hugging herself. “I didn’t recognize you anymore. I didn’t know all the ways you’d changed from the Uncle Darius I once knew and loved. I also thought you probably didn’t recognize me either. But now…”
She pauses, her gaze steady on me. “I feel like I recognize you more than I’ve ever recognized anyone in my life. I know you more than I’ll ever know anyone.”
Their experiences and shared history bond them together, but it’s their shared love of art and photography that sparks life in both of them. It’s the first time Darius has been able to talk about his passion for photography, and pick up a camera since his captivity. And Nell has always admired Darius’ skill and bravery in doing what he does, but when he brings his experience to her classroom, she begins to see the world in a new light, bringing her to life in ways she never expected.
“You’re going to be the death of me.”
“I think … you’re going to be the life of me.”
And underneath this new awakening in both of them, there is a growing attraction. They both feel it, and they know the other is feeling it too, and I loved watching the dynamic shift and change between them. You can see their deep connection and how much they care for each other, and I could feel it as things started to change for them. Their tragic backgrounds and the comfort that they find together draws them even closer together, and I love that they found that. They both deserve to have it.
When you’ve seen the worst of humanity, taken the brunt of evil, and only lived another day, another minute, because your captor allowed it…you crave purity and goodness. You want to get as close as possible to generosity, compassion, and courage, even when all those things come wrapped up in a girl who is far too young and innocent for the likes of you.
Darius has been through hell, and I felt so much for him. He understandably wrestles with his feelings for Nell. He knows he shouldn’t be feeling what he is feeling for her, and he tries his best to keep his distance, but his feelings for her are so strong, and I could feel his struggle.
The urge to touch her is overwhelming, suffocating. I fist my hands, I can’t grasp the growing comprehension that despite all our differences, at some deep, primal level, Nell and I are the same.
The emotion is beautifully written and so intense, and their situation is heartwrenching.
“I’m a lot older than you. Not to mention I’ve known you your whole life. The power dynamic is on me. I’m the one who needs to be in control. And when I lose control, you’re not safe.”
“That’s bullshit.” I gulp back a lingering sob. “I have spent my entire life feeling unsafe.” … “The only times in my life I’ve ever felt completely and unequivocally safe are the times when I’ve been with you.”
Nell is such a wonderful character. Yes, she’s been traumatised, and she still has scars from all that she has endured, but she has incredible strength, and we see that over and over in her journey through this book, and I loved watching her begin to blossom in so many ways. She’s completely open with Darius about her feelings and what she wants, and she is as supportive as she is tenacious, caring for Darius while never backing down about how much she feels for him.
“Every time you talk about yourself like that or tell me I shouldn’t want you, you’re belittling my feelings. As if my wanting you is shameful and wrong, when honestly it’s one of the few things that has ever felt right.”
This book is very much an introduction to Darius and Nell’s story, and it’s emotional and slow-burning. We see glimpses of what is coming, and I feel like this book gives us the dramatic backstory for what will become an epic romance. It ends with a bit of a cliffhanger, but it’s a positive ending, and I’m so excited for this story to continue.
I loved it. 4.5 stars.
An Advanced Review Copy was generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
Birdsong Trilogy
Sparrow & Hawke (#1)
Review
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Feather & Flame (#2)
Review
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Wishes & Wings (#3)
Review
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Excerpt
He sets a cup down with such force that coffee sloshes over the rim. His hair is a sweaty mess, and dried blood tracks down his jaw from the gash on his forehead.
“Darius, your—”
“Drink this.” He jabs a finger at the cup.
“I don’t want it.”
“I don’t care.” He flattens his hands on the counter and glares at me. His arms are roped with strong, corded muscles, his shoulders bunched. “This is what’s going to happen. You stay here. You don’t leave. You lock the doors and don’t even step outside. I’m going back to—”
“You’re going back? No way.”
His mouth tightens. “You are not calling the shots.”
“Obviously I should be, if you think I’ll let you go back into that hellhole. And stop treating me like a child.”
“You are a child!”
“I am not, and you know it.” A flame bursts to life deep inside me—a combination of rage and frustration that has nowhere to go. “Is that why you’re fighting? Because you can’t stand whatever is happening between us?”
His expression hardens to stone. “Nothing is happening between us.”
The force of his statement knifes into me.
No. Of all the people in the world, Darius Hawke will not be the one to link me with the word nothing.
“That’s a lie.” I fist my hands, my fingernails digging into my palms. “I saw those pictures you took of me. I see the way you look at me. I’d never show anyone else my scars, and you wouldn’t either, not like that. You’re not trying to escape nothing. You’ve been avoiding me because you know we’re the same and because you want me.”
The words come out like arrows, sharp and directed. Only in this instant do I realize the truth. I’m desirable. Coveted.
What I have, who I am, this man wants.
About the Author
Though she was born and raised in California, Nina Lane now lives in Wisconsin where the winters are freezing and the cheese is exceptional. Mom to two teenagers and a neurotic dog, she lives in two worlds—one world of laundry, driving, horses, Girl Scouts, and football, and the other of epic romances between hot alpha heroes and the women who bring them to their knees. Nina only cooks when she can’t avoid it (i.e., there are no frozen pizzas left), binge-watches serial TV whenever she can get control of the remote, and checks in about the weather daily with her meteorologist husband. She’s a fan of popcorn, actual print magazines, French Roast coffee, working out, and trying new things…especially if it’s food.
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