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Review
An emotional and dramatic forbidden romance – wow this book was a surprise!
4 stars
This book was really different from what I was expecting based on the synopsis. Not that I’m a perve or anything (much), but I was anticipating a forbidden romance full of sexy times. But instead, I got an emotional story that is equal parts drama and romance that had me captivated from start to finish.
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned…”
Canaan was raised in the Catholic Church and felt a calling on his life from a very young age to dedicate his life to God. His teenage years were far from idyllic, yet only strengthened his resolve to commit his life to the church in an effort to cleanse his soul and seek redemption for his sins, and he is now an ordained Catholic Priest.
Haven childhood was pure torture. She suffered terribly at the hands of someone who was supposed to care for her, and though it has left its mark on her she has overcome her suffering to become a successful artist – her work very much fuelled by her turbulent emotions.
Canaan and Haven met once as teenagers, on a night that impacted them both greatly, in an encounter that would have far reaching consequences. 15 years later and they have both returned to their home town – Canaan has been assigned to his former church, and Haven’s artwork has earned her a show at a local gallery. Being back in the place where they suffered so terribly opens up a world of hurt for both of them, Canaan in particular, and that is only compounded when they see each other again.
OMG, the feels as these two re-enter each other’s lives are so powerful! So much anger, guilt and pain! They both have so much to deal with as their hearts and souls are torn open once again, and as they start to open up to each other and lean on each other for support, their feelings for each other start to deepen and they soon find themselves with a whole heap of new trouble.
“Why is it that the only man I’ve ever been interested in has to be one I can’t ever have?”
Like I said before, this is not a smut book (although it does contain some love scenes). This is a heart-wrenching story of two people who are incredibly drawn to each other, but who simply cannot be together. Yes, the romance element is there, but it’s very strongly caught up in the guilt and turmoil that you would expect the characters to be feeling because of their situation.
She was all I could ever want and never have.
Canaan’s journey is beautifully written. He is a good man who has completely committed himself to the church, and everything that he is feeling for Haven confuses and torments him. You can feel his anguish as he wrestles with his emotions and tries so hard to do what he thinks is right.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. A man of the cloth was forbidden to love a woman. Even with the wall I had attempted to construct, I had failed completely.
Haven has her own demons to deal with, and I really admire her strength and the way she handles her feelings for Canaan. She never pushes him, but she doesn’t hide from him either, and her actions and his responses felt very real, and I could understand them and empathise with everything that they are going through.
“You’ve turned out to be a man – a man I can trust and admire, a man I could love. But I know you could never love me back.”
They both acknowledge what they are feelings, but try their hardest to resist the growing emotion between them, and it adds a great intensity to their story as they try their hardest to stay away from each other despite the fact that they are slowly and effortlessly falling in love.
This is the first book I have read by either of these authors, and I am so, so impressed with their storytelling. The book is written in dual POV, and they get us right to the heart of these characters and I felt everything right alongside them. It’s a heart-wrenching journey, not just as they deal with what they are feeling for each other, but as they finally face their pasts. There is some very serious subject matter in this book, some of which may be a trigger…
…but more than being just a love story, it’s a book about grief, guilt, pain and suffering, about friendship and love, moving forward and finding redemption.
As you would expect, there is a heavy religious aspect to the story. I am not a Catholic, and I admit that parts of this book went over my head with the amount of detail given (eg. the Catholic terminology and rituals), and I did find myself skimming some paragraphs, but it’s a huge part of who Canaan is, so I could understand the need for it, and it didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the story.
This was such a great read. Heartfelt and emotional, it deals with some very heavy topics, and while the authors don’t hold anything back, it’s done respectfully and meaningfully, and adds to the overall mood of the book. Canaan and Haven are great characters, and I loved their story. There is a lot of detail given, and readers can be sure that the story ends well, with all loose ends tied up and a gorgeous epilogue that finishes everything off perfectly.
I loved it – 4 stars.
An Advanced Review Copy was generously provided in exchange for an honest review.